Peer Pressure

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I apologise for not writing my blog last week, I had an unexpected shift at work but no need to dwell on that. Today I have chosen to write about peer pressure as this was previously brought up earlier in the week and I think this is a reason as to why teens choose to do what they do.

Most teens are peer pressured to do something or try something new, in some cases the person being pressured wants to try whatever they are being pressured into and sometimes use the pressure as an excuse. Friends can sometimes encourage you to do bad things like smoke, drink, commit crimes etc. If your friends do pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable then you should know when to tell them to stop and perhaps you shouldn’t talk to them anymore. If they push your boundaries and don’t  know when to stop, then you should tell them and put them in their place. No one should ever make you feel awkward or uncomfortable in a situation especially a friend. You know where the line is and if it’s necessary, you should have to tell them.

Occasionally, people will give into peer pressure because they want to fit in with everyone else. Some people think being different is bad and that we should all be the same but that makes life boring. Another reason why people may give in is because people are afraid to lose their friends. If they were your real friends, they would respect and understand when they have crossed the line. You shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed to say no. You don’t have to be in a situation where you feel awkward, everyone has limits whether they are stronger than others, no one’s self respect should be taken away. “Good friends will respect your individuality”. 

The media can sometimes also affect peer pressure. More and more things are becoming acceptable in magazines, on the TV etc, women and men’s bodies are being exposed more. I think because of this, teens think it is okay to push people to their limits and beyond. They don’t realise how people feel and think about the exposure and abuse towards teens because of the media, people don’t realise how much of an effect it has on this generation.

Your friends can teach you a lot about yourself, they help you develop and learn more things about you that you may not have known without their help. Friends can help you, support and motivate you to succeed with anything in life. However, some friends can influence you to do bad things because of peer pressure.

I hope today’s blog was an interesting read for you.

Thanks for reading

♥︎

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Does Everybody Deserve a Second Chance?

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I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “Everybody deserves a second chance” but nowadays people are being lied to more often and forgiven easily (well, that’s what I’ve been seeing). It’s disappointing to find out that someone lies to you especially a family member or close friends, even though we are lied to just to be protected, doesn’t mean we are still feeling “loved” because keeping secrets from someone shows that you aren’t protecting them, you are lying to them no matter how big or little the secret is.

Giving a second chance to someone really depends on the situation and how the person feels, for example if you’ve had an argument with your best friend because you were talking behind their back, depending how close you two were, the trust you both had in each other is probably is what is helping them to consider giving you a second chance. They are probably thinking about what you have been through together, the highs and lows. Based on that they are probably having a tough time, choosing because they don’t want to be betrayed on again or taken advantage of. No one wants their friend to take advantage of them, if you have been through it then you know how hard it is, don’t let other people around you experience that.

In the adult world, giving a second chance to a partner after cheating or an employee after messing up at work is something different. In order to give your partner a second chance takes a lot of courage and shows that you trust the person enough to take them back but remember not everyone uses these chances wisely. There are people in this world that will use you but these people can help you grow and you can become stronger as a person. They will be people who’ll shape you into the person you will become, in the end you might actually be thankful for them because they were the ones who opened your eyes to realise the bad in the world.

If you have done something wrong and if you are lucky enough to get a second chance, do not waste it. I repeat, DO NOT WASTE IT. Second chances are rarely given and they are so precious, you cannot waste them, trust is already damaged you don’t want to ruin your relationship, friendship, partnership etc. Second chances give you an opportunity to prove yourself to someone, that you aren’t a bad person, you can be trusted and that you are responsible person. “A second chance doesn’t mean anything if you haven’t learnt from your first mistake”. 

I hope you enjoyed this week’s blog and remember to cherish every second chance you get in life. Thanks for reading xoxo

 

Jealousy

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You know that feeling in your stomach, it’s called jealousy, and there are mixed emotions which are fear and anxiety. It’s when you feel threatened by someone else prettier or smarter than you, this sometimes cause you to do something stupid and embarrassing just to gain control that will usually hurt other people. This familiar feeling is also known as the “green eyed monster”. Jealousy is a first person emotion and it comes from a place called insecurity which can affect you and the others around you. The bottom line is that jealousy isn’t about the other person, it’s about you, make sure that your friends and loved ones don’t get caught up in all of this.

I’m going to give you three coping tips and how to handle jealousy from ruining your relationships and making you look stupid in public. You’re not alone because everyone is jealous once in a while. Studies show babies as young as six months even get jealous when their mother interacts with other babies. It’s completely natural for you to feel jealous because everyone wants to be loved and valued not ignored. Even when you think you have matured and that you’re childish we’re still child like vent when we are jealous. The more jealous you are, the less you are to empathise with people. When you’re jealous, you’re more easily distracted and less able to perform simple memory games. Here are the three steps:

1. Acknowledge- you have to admit it. You’re jealous and you can’t run away from your feelings, addressing it can help keep it under control and from taking over your mind. Say if you’re friends when to the cinema and didn’t invite you, its okay to be a little dramatic. Think what exactly is making you jealous and why.

2. Communicate- all your embarrassing thoughts will soon be forgotten about. Don’t have an imaginary argument in your head with your friends because over thinking will just make matters worse. Tell your friends how you feel and apologise if you overreacted because you might have and remember to be honest. Make it clear that you are expressing your feelings by using “I” statements to ensure that they understand you. To get over it, stop thinking about yourself all the time and think from someone else’s point of view.

3. Resolve- this will probably be the hardest part for you because you’ll have to listen to your friends and they might say that you were overreacting which could be right.

Jealousy isn’t always bad, it can sometimes encourage you to try harder because if someone got full marks in a test and you were jealous, you would study harder and it would result in you learning more. If in a relationship and your partner is jealous that is good because you know that they are faithful to you and that no one else has their attention but jealousy is love and hate at the same time. “Jealousy is when you count someone else’s blessings instead of your own”.

I hope that this blog can help you and remember to be grateful for what you have and not what others have. Thanks for reading xoxo

Love

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Love is a wonderful and powerful feeling, people think of love in many different ways. People may have a love for food but that is different for the love of your family or friends, I think that there are lots of other types of love that you can feel towards objects or people.

Some people aren’t accepted for who they love, gay or lesbian, some of these people aren’t valued in their community for it. Most countries in the world have legalised homosexuality but some countries haven’t legalised homosexuality, the gays and lesbians in those countries have been abused, some of them killed. They hide out and feel as if they can’t be part of their community because they think they’re in danger. Fortunately, countries allow gay marriage which is wonderful. There is nothing wrong with being gay but other people think it is and unnatural, some teenagers are bullied in school for being gay but they are just a normal human being like me and you. People are also judged for age difference, as long as you feel you are truly in love and your partner feels the same way about you then who cares what everyone thinks, don’t let anyone tell you who to love because you’re the one going to have to live, talk, support and care for them.

Some young teens think that they are in love but its the soppy kind and it only lasts for a few months. I have to admit I thought I was “in love” but now that I think about it I wasn’t and I think it was a valuable lesson and I think I’ve matured in relationship wise and understand more about it. My past relationship has taught me not to get into one just because you feel you have to or be pressurised by other people, don’t agree to something because you have to, do it because you want to. I think in order to understand what love really is, you have to experience some bad things, to learn from your mistakes because life is a lesson and all about learning from your mistakes.

Love isn’t always what you feel towards other people, it can also be what you feel to an object e.g. bed (I know sad but true), phone, food sleep, money, clothes etc. You might love your hobbies or your new shoes and you treat your items as if they’re your baby and you feel as if you can’t live without them like your family. These objects are also very important to you and you would feel incomplete without them. Some people might may think its weird but there is probably some object they have that couldn’t live without so everyone has that special thing.

Someday you will find love whether it is a man or woman, they won’t be what you see in romance or Disney films so don’t expect anything amazing because love isn’t about perfection. “Imperfection is beauty”- Marilyn Monroe. Don’t judge the person on their looks because their personality is more important, you never know that person might be “the one”. Remember good looks fade but a good heart keeps you beautiful forever.

I hope you found this blog interesting and that it taught you something important. Thanks for reading xoxo

Friends

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Friends are one of the greatest things in the world and they come with ups and downs. All friendships are emotional roller coasters and I think you can agree with me on that. “Friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. Fake friends are like leaves found everywhere.” This is so true, you should always value every true friend you have and never underestimate them.

Sadly, there are also fake friends out there. This may be because you wear your heart on your sleeve (you’re not careful with your heart and you’re easily taken advantaged of). Some people may take advantage of people who are like this and they get badly hurt and people like that need to realise to be more careful because not everyone is trustworthy, so whatever you do be careful. You may tell your “best friend” a secret and then suddenly everyone knows about it at school, it’s probably your “friend” so watch out for those type of people. They can easily take advantage of you and they can wrap you around their little finger and you won’t even realise it. If you have a friend like this you need to be able to stand up to them and have the guts to speak and say what you think about them. This may result in an argument or you losing a “friend” but its only for the best and as long as you feel it was the right thing to do, then go for what you think is best. You can’t be mislead and not enjoy having friends because this person can’t keep you captive and if you don’t do anything about it, you’ll regret it and think to yourself, “Why didn’t I stand you for myself and tell them how I really felt about our friendship”. Don’t live your life in regret, live the moment and just go for it!

There are also a great group of friends and these people create so many unforgettable moment and happy memories with you. You might have met your friend at a young age or recently but you can tell who will be your friend for a long time or your whole life, a friendship that has lasted 7 years is more likely to last a lifetime, an interesting fact. I think this is true because you almost feel that you and your friend are related, you know everything about each other and I’m very glad to say one of my friendships has lasted for 7 years and I hope it’ll last forever with all my friends. International Friendship Day is celebrated on July 30, so spend that day with your friends and do something special as its celebrated in the summer, go down to the beach, have a water fight or just something fun.

You can also have friends of both genders which is great and it can give you a lot of knowledge about each gender. Sometimes you can develop feelings for your guy or girl friend and you just can’t help it, the other person might feel the same way about you or not, but if they don’t, don’t ruin your friendship and try to control your feelings and just value very moment you have with them. If you’re lucky enough they might try to hint that they like you and if you’re certain of it ask them out to the cinema or something and they might understand where you’re coming from and you never know what you might get out of it. As I said before don’t live in regret and just do what you feel is right for you at the situation.

Do you ever talk about your future with your friends? Like going to on holiday, going to university together, moving in, going clubbing, going to each others weddings, meeting each others children etc. Things like that just make you want to grow up faster, imagine how fun it would be! Thinking about your future with your friends is so interesting because you never know what will happen to you. Just make sure that your all still friends.

I hope you like this blog, please let me know in the comments what else you’d like me to write about. Thanks for reading xoxo

Bullying

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Bullying is a very serious topic and unfortunately many children and teenagers are bullied all around the world and this may sound very negative but I don’t think bullying will ever stop because there will always be that group of people that will never stop bullying and they’ll spread their negativity.

5 stages of bullying:

1. Watching and waiting- what I mean by this is that they will look for someone smaller and weaker to pick on and then they will watch how you react to things and then they look for your weaknesses and then use them against you.

2. Testing with their “gang”- they will start to watch you and see how you react to the little things, if they like your reaction they pick on you more and more, they will observe you and see if you will put up a fight.

3. Stepping it up a notch- as they start to enjoy your reaction to the little things they will gradually increase it and they just keep doing this.

4. Gathering momentum- when you realise that you are being bullied, they’ll know that you know. If you tell an adult or teacher and they then have a word with the bullies, they won’t care they like getting the attention and they’ll just keep doing this.

5. Bullying is established- you are now officially being bullied, this isn’t acceptable and it seriously needs to be dealt with.

There are many forms of bullying, cyber bullying, insults, physical and many more but these are the main ones. My two have friends have been in this situation, in this case I shall call them 1 and 2. 1 is quite a small girl and very vulnerable whereas 2 is much taller compared to 1, 2 is sometimes very aggressive and can take her rage out on other people anyway people around 2 provoke 2 to bully 1 and 2 does this because she doesn’t want to seem uncool or not popular. 2 has been bullying 1 for nearly 3 years and 1 is scared to report this abuse because 1 is scared of the outcome and she thinks it’ll make matters worse. I support 1 and all her friends do but 1 just can’t realise that she is being bullied, she’s completely oblivious to this and I wish that she’d realise.

Please don’t feel like 1, she is afraid to relax at school and you too shouldn’t feel like this either because school is a place where you shouldn’t want to feel captured or trapped because your school years are probably the best years of your life. Don’t feel as if you cannot do anything to stop being bullied because you can, it may sound hard but try not to react because that’s what they feed on and reacting will just make matters even worse.

If you feel abandoned or feel like you can’t escape don’t take the easy way out if you know what I mean (suicide). You’ve got so much ahead of you so don’t let a group of people take your life away from you, your life is probably more worthwhile than theres. Stay strong and if you ever need help talk to someone you really trust or maybe talk to a counsellor, you never know how much it could help.

Bullies are the people who are normally insecure with themselves or are jealous. Instead of dealing with their problems, they take it out on other people and then it causes them to look like the bad guy but in fact there is probably a little child screaming inside of them for help and they don’t know another way to ask for it. It may help you if instead of you being bullied ask if they need a shoulder to cry on or a talk because it may help and it could prevent you or someone else being bullied. Just one small act of kindness could really help someone out.

I hope one of these websites below will help to ease your mind:

http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Bullying/Pages/Bullying.aspx?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign_name=ABW2013&utm_campaign=Anti-Bullying_Bullying_Generic_Bullying_Websites&utm_term=bullying_websites&gclid=CMXUtvKcz7wCFWXnwgodxHgArw

http://www.beatbullying.org

http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/#/home

I hope these help you. Thanks for reading!

Until next time bye xoxo

Boys

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Since it’s Valentines Day, I thought I would write about this topic, sorry if you’re a boy and if you’re reading this, it could be helpful so keep reading. Every girl will have a crush once a while in her life, some are meaningless but I think each different relationship teaches you a valuable life lesson. Unfortunately, some boys don’t feel the same way but just remember the one is out there waiting for his princess (you).

It might sound odd but boys actually have feelings too. Yes I know, shocking but they are very good at hiding their emotions. I think most of them do this because they like to feel manly so lets just let them do their thing. Some boys are very sensitive which is nice to know that they’re actually human but we still want a manly man but we will always respect their feelings and never judge them, so boys don’t worry, we completely understand.

Us girls can get very jealous and over protective on our crush, we too are also very good at disguising our feelings to boys but we can’t stop thinking about them. You just get that happy feeling, when you see them walk into class but then you also get that shy feeling which you just cannot help, you may feel like your heart rate has gone off the scale, you’ve lost you voice and you’ve got butterflies in your tummy and you seem to get this feeling all the time you see him but you just can’t help it. Every girl and I think boy, boys let me know if you do, but all us girls get this feeling when we see him.

“Looks attracts the eyes but personality captures the heart”. You don’t what attracted you to him but every boy has that special thing and it just pulls you in. You completely forget about his looks and you care about his heart and personality more. A lot of people say that looks are important which are a little true because you wouldn’t date the ugliest person in the world with the best personality would you? As long as you follow your heart with your choice and not the looks because looks can deceive you, remember that in a few years time, his body and face will age but his personality won’t so don’t make any silly mistakes.

If you’re lucky enough to date your crush and you have an okay relationship then it just ends after a couple of months, you’ll act like you didn’t care or love him but be honest, there’s still a part deep down inside of you that does. It’s okay, people will understand, you don’t have to kid yourself, it’s okay to let your feelings out maybe a little cry too (I recommend a film, tissues, chocolate and ice cream) it’ll help. Just remember that you’ll gain something out of it and there’s still something over the horizon waiting just for you. “Good things come to those who wait”.

I hope all of you have a lovely Valentines Day, and remember Valentines Day isn’t just for boyfriends and girlfriends, it’s a day to show all the people you love how much you love them so maybe tell your family or friends how much you love and appreciate them. Let me know what else you’d like me to write about.

Thanks for reading xoxo