Peer Pressure

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I apologise for not writing my blog last week, I had an unexpected shift at work but no need to dwell on that. Today I have chosen to write about peer pressure as this was previously brought up earlier in the week and I think this is a reason as to why teens choose to do what they do.

Most teens are peer pressured to do something or try something new, in some cases the person being pressured wants to try whatever they are being pressured into and sometimes use the pressure as an excuse. Friends can sometimes encourage you to do bad things like smoke, drink, commit crimes etc. If your friends do pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable then you should know when to tell them to stop and perhaps you shouldn’t talk to them anymore. If they push your boundaries and don’t  know when to stop, then you should tell them and put them in their place. No one should ever make you feel awkward or uncomfortable in a situation especially a friend. You know where the line is and if it’s necessary, you should have to tell them.

Occasionally, people will give into peer pressure because they want to fit in with everyone else. Some people think being different is bad and that we should all be the same but that makes life boring. Another reason why people may give in is because people are afraid to lose their friends. If they were your real friends, they would respect and understand when they have crossed the line. You shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed to say no. You don’t have to be in a situation where you feel awkward, everyone has limits whether they are stronger than others, no one’s self respect should be taken away. “Good friends will respect your individuality”. 

The media can sometimes also affect peer pressure. More and more things are becoming acceptable in magazines, on the TV etc, women and men’s bodies are being exposed more. I think because of this, teens think it is okay to push people to their limits and beyond. They don’t realise how people feel and think about the exposure and abuse towards teens because of the media, people don’t realise how much of an effect it has on this generation.

Your friends can teach you a lot about yourself, they help you develop and learn more things about you that you may not have known without their help. Friends can help you, support and motivate you to succeed with anything in life. However, some friends can influence you to do bad things because of peer pressure.

I hope today’s blog was an interesting read for you.

Thanks for reading

♥︎

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Self Harm

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1 in 4 people self harm, most of them hold it in and don’t tell anyone. This is a very important topic that could lead to something even BIGGER (if you know what I mean) so to avoid that situation, here is some advice if you have or are experiencing self harm and if someone you know is harming themselves.

To notice, if someone is harming themselves:

Unexplained cuts or bruises on their wrists, arms, thighs and chest.

Keeping themselves fully covered at all times, even in hot weather.

Signs of depression such as a low mood, lack of motivation and interest in things.

Changing their eating habits, unusual weight loss or gain.

Signs of low self esteem, blaming themselves for things or thinking they’re not good enough.

Signs they might be pulling out their hair.

If you do find out your friends is self harming then don’t panic because they won’t be open to you, you have to be calm otherwise they won’t be and they might not feel ready to tell you. If your friend doesn’t tell you straight away don’t feel as if they don’t trust you, it may just be that they don’t want to talk about it at that very moment. In case, they don’t want to tell maybe suggest an adult they trust, close family member or perhaps a doctor, you have to be very delicate with them because they could be very fragile at this time in their life so you must be very reassuring and be calm with them.

Once they tell you, reassure them that you will be there for them, support and care for them. This will make them feel a lot more safe inside and little more secure with you. Make sure that they feel comfortable discussing their problem with adults or someone who could help them, ensure the person understands the circumstances and they will help your friend recovering and inform you how to keep them happy and not go back. Keep helping them and they will be on their way to happiness and freedom.

If you are harming yourself, put the blade down because you’re not doing yourself ANY favours, talk to someone because they will want to help you. If you’re doing because you have lost someone close to you, imagine would that person want you doing this to yourself? If it’s because you’re being bullied, check out my bullying blog and it might help: https://natalayacooke.wordpress.com/2014/02/15/bullying/. You may think I don’t understand what situation you’re in but just listen to this, stay strong and put that blade down next time you reach for it, get a highlighter or pen then draw a line wherever you would use it and at the end of the day look at those stripes and be proud of yourself because that’s the amount of times you DIDN’T self harm, if you keep doing this I guarantee it will help you.

Some of the reasons that people self harm is because of something very traumatising that was happening or happened in their life e.g. losing a family member. Another cause of self harm is bullying, this also leads to other situations e.g. suicide, so in order to prevent self harm please look out for the signs of it because it is gradually affecting more and more people around the world and it’s not going to get any better, if no one helps. Self Injury Awareness Day is on Saturday the 1st of March, some people wear orange awareness ribbons, they write “love” on their arms, draw a butterfly on their wrists in awareness of “the Butterfly Project” wristband or beaded bracelet to encourage awareness of self-harm. Please get involved and make self injury more aware around the people near you because you never know whose life you might save.

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Here are some websites that might help, there are LOADS more but here are a few :

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Self-injury/Pages/Introduction.aspx

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/

http://selfharm.co.uk/home

http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Self-harm/Pages/about-self-harm.aspx

I hope you found this blog interesting and that you could help someone if they have been affected by this, stay strong and keep helping because you’re doing a great job. Thanks for reading xoxo

Bullying

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Bullying is a very serious topic and unfortunately many children and teenagers are bullied all around the world and this may sound very negative but I don’t think bullying will ever stop because there will always be that group of people that will never stop bullying and they’ll spread their negativity.

5 stages of bullying:

1. Watching and waiting- what I mean by this is that they will look for someone smaller and weaker to pick on and then they will watch how you react to things and then they look for your weaknesses and then use them against you.

2. Testing with their “gang”- they will start to watch you and see how you react to the little things, if they like your reaction they pick on you more and more, they will observe you and see if you will put up a fight.

3. Stepping it up a notch- as they start to enjoy your reaction to the little things they will gradually increase it and they just keep doing this.

4. Gathering momentum- when you realise that you are being bullied, they’ll know that you know. If you tell an adult or teacher and they then have a word with the bullies, they won’t care they like getting the attention and they’ll just keep doing this.

5. Bullying is established- you are now officially being bullied, this isn’t acceptable and it seriously needs to be dealt with.

There are many forms of bullying, cyber bullying, insults, physical and many more but these are the main ones. My two have friends have been in this situation, in this case I shall call them 1 and 2. 1 is quite a small girl and very vulnerable whereas 2 is much taller compared to 1, 2 is sometimes very aggressive and can take her rage out on other people anyway people around 2 provoke 2 to bully 1 and 2 does this because she doesn’t want to seem uncool or not popular. 2 has been bullying 1 for nearly 3 years and 1 is scared to report this abuse because 1 is scared of the outcome and she thinks it’ll make matters worse. I support 1 and all her friends do but 1 just can’t realise that she is being bullied, she’s completely oblivious to this and I wish that she’d realise.

Please don’t feel like 1, she is afraid to relax at school and you too shouldn’t feel like this either because school is a place where you shouldn’t want to feel captured or trapped because your school years are probably the best years of your life. Don’t feel as if you cannot do anything to stop being bullied because you can, it may sound hard but try not to react because that’s what they feed on and reacting will just make matters even worse.

If you feel abandoned or feel like you can’t escape don’t take the easy way out if you know what I mean (suicide). You’ve got so much ahead of you so don’t let a group of people take your life away from you, your life is probably more worthwhile than theres. Stay strong and if you ever need help talk to someone you really trust or maybe talk to a counsellor, you never know how much it could help.

Bullies are the people who are normally insecure with themselves or are jealous. Instead of dealing with their problems, they take it out on other people and then it causes them to look like the bad guy but in fact there is probably a little child screaming inside of them for help and they don’t know another way to ask for it. It may help you if instead of you being bullied ask if they need a shoulder to cry on or a talk because it may help and it could prevent you or someone else being bullied. Just one small act of kindness could really help someone out.

I hope one of these websites below will help to ease your mind:

http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Bullying/Pages/Bullying.aspx?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign_name=ABW2013&utm_campaign=Anti-Bullying_Bullying_Generic_Bullying_Websites&utm_term=bullying_websites&gclid=CMXUtvKcz7wCFWXnwgodxHgArw

http://www.beatbullying.org

http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/#/home

I hope these help you. Thanks for reading!

Until next time bye xoxo