You know that feeling in your stomach, it’s called jealousy, and there are mixed emotions which are fear and anxiety. It’s when you feel threatened by someone else prettier or smarter than you, this sometimes cause you to do something stupid and embarrassing just to gain control that will usually hurt other people. This familiar feeling is also known as the “green eyed monster”. Jealousy is a first person emotion and it comes from a place called insecurity which can affect you and the others around you. The bottom line is that jealousy isn’t about the other person, it’s about you, make sure that your friends and loved ones don’t get caught up in all of this.
I’m going to give you three coping tips and how to handle jealousy from ruining your relationships and making you look stupid in public. You’re not alone because everyone is jealous once in a while. Studies show babies as young as six months even get jealous when their mother interacts with other babies. It’s completely natural for you to feel jealous because everyone wants to be loved and valued not ignored. Even when you think you have matured and that you’re childish we’re still child like vent when we are jealous. The more jealous you are, the less you are to empathise with people. When you’re jealous, you’re more easily distracted and less able to perform simple memory games. Here are the three steps:
1. Acknowledge- you have to admit it. You’re jealous and you can’t run away from your feelings, addressing it can help keep it under control and from taking over your mind. Say if you’re friends when to the cinema and didn’t invite you, its okay to be a little dramatic. Think what exactly is making you jealous and why.
2. Communicate- all your embarrassing thoughts will soon be forgotten about. Don’t have an imaginary argument in your head with your friends because over thinking will just make matters worse. Tell your friends how you feel and apologise if you overreacted because you might have and remember to be honest. Make it clear that you are expressing your feelings by using “I” statements to ensure that they understand you. To get over it, stop thinking about yourself all the time and think from someone else’s point of view.
3. Resolve- this will probably be the hardest part for you because you’ll have to listen to your friends and they might say that you were overreacting which could be right.
Jealousy isn’t always bad, it can sometimes encourage you to try harder because if someone got full marks in a test and you were jealous, you would study harder and it would result in you learning more. If in a relationship and your partner is jealous that is good because you know that they are faithful to you and that no one else has their attention but jealousy is love and hate at the same time. “Jealousy is when you count someone else’s blessings instead of your own”.
I hope that this blog can help you and remember to be grateful for what you have and not what others have. Thanks for reading xoxo