Self Harm

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1 in 4 people self harm, most of them hold it in and don’t tell anyone. This is a very important topic that could lead to something even BIGGER (if you know what I mean) so to avoid that situation, here is some advice if you have or are experiencing self harm and if someone you know is harming themselves.

To notice, if someone is harming themselves:

Unexplained cuts or bruises on their wrists, arms, thighs and chest.

Keeping themselves fully covered at all times, even in hot weather.

Signs of depression such as a low mood, lack of motivation and interest in things.

Changing their eating habits, unusual weight loss or gain.

Signs of low self esteem, blaming themselves for things or thinking they’re not good enough.

Signs they might be pulling out their hair.

If you do find out your friends is self harming then don’t panic because they won’t be open to you, you have to be calm otherwise they won’t be and they might not feel ready to tell you. If your friend doesn’t tell you straight away don’t feel as if they don’t trust you, it may just be that they don’t want to talk about it at that very moment. In case, they don’t want to tell maybe suggest an adult they trust, close family member or perhaps a doctor, you have to be very delicate with them because they could be very fragile at this time in their life so you must be very reassuring and be calm with them.

Once they tell you, reassure them that you will be there for them, support and care for them. This will make them feel a lot more safe inside and little more secure with you. Make sure that they feel comfortable discussing their problem with adults or someone who could help them, ensure the person understands the circumstances and they will help your friend recovering and inform you how to keep them happy and not go back. Keep helping them and they will be on their way to happiness and freedom.

If you are harming yourself, put the blade down because you’re not doing yourself ANY favours, talk to someone because they will want to help you. If you’re doing because you have lost someone close to you, imagine would that person want you doing this to yourself? If it’s because you’re being bullied, check out my bullying blog and it might help: https://natalayacooke.wordpress.com/2014/02/15/bullying/. You may think I don’t understand what situation you’re in but just listen to this, stay strong and put that blade down next time you reach for it, get a highlighter or pen then draw a line wherever you would use it and at the end of the day look at those stripes and be proud of yourself because that’s the amount of times you DIDN’T self harm, if you keep doing this I guarantee it will help you.

Some of the reasons that people self harm is because of something very traumatising that was happening or happened in their life e.g. losing a family member. Another cause of self harm is bullying, this also leads to other situations e.g. suicide, so in order to prevent self harm please look out for the signs of it because it is gradually affecting more and more people around the world and it’s not going to get any better, if no one helps. Self Injury Awareness Day is on Saturday the 1st of March, some people wear orange awareness ribbons, they write “love” on their arms, draw a butterfly on their wrists in awareness of “the Butterfly Project” wristband or beaded bracelet to encourage awareness of self-harm. Please get involved and make self injury more aware around the people near you because you never know whose life you might save.

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Here are some websites that might help, there are LOADS more but here are a few :

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Self-injury/Pages/Introduction.aspx

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/

http://selfharm.co.uk/home

http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Self-harm/Pages/about-self-harm.aspx

I hope you found this blog interesting and that you could help someone if they have been affected by this, stay strong and keep helping because you’re doing a great job. Thanks for reading xoxo

Just Say Yes!

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How often do you turn down amazing opportunities? Does the word “no” sound familiar? If you’re a shy person or you like to stay in your comfort zone, then this will be something worth reading and it could change your life. Even if you aren’t like this, it could give you an idea of how other people feel and you could give other people around you advice that could really help them. If you feel like that you always stay in your comfort zone, then now is the time to break out of the bad habit and live your life to the max!

Do you ever think to yourself, what if I said yes to that? Well now is the time to change because life isn’t going to get any better if you stay in your shell. To start the new “you”, you have to be able to open up more. You need to have more self confidence which I wrote a blog on: https://natalayacooke.wordpress.com/2014/02/13/self-confidence/. Once you gain self confidence, you have to get more involved with people because life is about the people you meet, if you hold back then you don’t know what you might be missing. This will probably be a big step for you but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone, you and your friends could do it together and I’m sure they would support you.

Just imagine, if you didn’t change now, what life changing opportunities you would be missing? If you didn’t take any chances, then you’d regret it and you don’t know what you have missed out on. You get ONE life, one chance to do anything and everything you want so don’t let anyone or anything stop you from doing that. Just say yes to something you wouldn’t normally do, live a little and do something everyday that you wouldn’t usually do because you never know what you might find out about yourself, you could meet new people and it could boost your confidence and social skills.

There are some great things out in the world to discover, you could meet so many new people, have so many memories with lots of new friends and how many different paths will be open to you. “When one door closes, another door opens; but we so often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”- Alexander Graham Bell. You’ll feel so much better saying “yes” to things and it’ll really boost your confidence and self esteem. It’ll make you want to get more involved in activities and step out of your comfort zone. You will feel a lot more positive and with positivity comes with happiness.

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The message I am trying to get across to you is that don’t let anything hold you back, say YES because you don’t know what will happen to you unless you take a few risks. Don’t let anything get it your way because the journey will be unforgettable and you could do so many amazing things on the way and just remember don’t live in regrets, go crazy and live your life! All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better Ralph Waldo Emerson. 

I hope you found this blog interesting and that it helps you and remember to enjoy your life while you have it. Thanks for reading xoxo

 

Pssst….. Don’t say yes to EVERYTHING because people come up with stupid things like jump off a cliff, so just say yes to the good and enjoyable things.

Childhood

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Remember the good old days when you would just chill with your friends or siblings, not having a care in the world? Well those days are fading away and you can’t get them back. It sounds so sad to say but it is true, as the days go by we are gradually getting further and further away from our childhood. We’ve got to start maturing because we are entering our adulthood. It’s depressing, I know.

Children have changed so much now, I remember not having caring about anything, my looks, clothes, boys etc. Children do now, I know some eight year olds that have phones and iPads and they’re so up tight about their looks, I think society is another reason of why children have changed. When I was a child, we had a tv but only with a few channels and none of the technology we have now. We had lots of board game that my friends and I could spend hours playing, we would always play hop scotch, skipping, hide and seek and loads more but children now could just with a switch of a button have the world at their fingertips and they don’t even realise how lucky they are.

One of the best things about childhood was that you didn’t have to worry about homework, meeting deadlines, looking after yourself but when you grow older, you have to be more independent and you don’t rely on others as much when you did when you were little. You had your parents do the basics for you and then you could run free with your friends and let your imagination run wild, you didn’t have to worry about anything and life was great then. As you grow, things and people change. Everything and everyone seems so different now, you see everyday tasks differently to how you did when you were younger. Time flies when you’re having fun and it just seems to be going too quickly, you don’t even realise until you think about it.

Growing up also means you have to mature and become more sensible but sometimes that can be boring, you have to liven things up and make life more fun, just because you are getting older doesn’t mean you can’t have fun or relive your childhood memories. Your childhood was probably the best years of you life for many reasons and its said to see it go and pass by. Some good things are when you talk about you memories with friends and family, you remember them like it was yesterday. It always brings joy, makes you smile and reminds how great life really is.

I think when you have children, you can relive your memories with them. You could do all the great things you did with them and its a brilliant excuse to do it. Watch all the films you watched, take them to your favourite parks or holiday destinations, I think it would be such a great thing to do with your family and it would really remind you of all the great times you had as a child.

I hope you enjoyed this blog and it brought you good memories. Thanks for reading xoxo

Love

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Love is a wonderful and powerful feeling, people think of love in many different ways. People may have a love for food but that is different for the love of your family or friends, I think that there are lots of other types of love that you can feel towards objects or people.

Some people aren’t accepted for who they love, gay or lesbian, some of these people aren’t valued in their community for it. Most countries in the world have legalised homosexuality but some countries haven’t legalised homosexuality, the gays and lesbians in those countries have been abused, some of them killed. They hide out and feel as if they can’t be part of their community because they think they’re in danger. Fortunately, countries allow gay marriage which is wonderful. There is nothing wrong with being gay but other people think it is and unnatural, some teenagers are bullied in school for being gay but they are just a normal human being like me and you. People are also judged for age difference, as long as you feel you are truly in love and your partner feels the same way about you then who cares what everyone thinks, don’t let anyone tell you who to love because you’re the one going to have to live, talk, support and care for them.

Some young teens think that they are in love but its the soppy kind and it only lasts for a few months. I have to admit I thought I was “in love” but now that I think about it I wasn’t and I think it was a valuable lesson and I think I’ve matured in relationship wise and understand more about it. My past relationship has taught me not to get into one just because you feel you have to or be pressurised by other people, don’t agree to something because you have to, do it because you want to. I think in order to understand what love really is, you have to experience some bad things, to learn from your mistakes because life is a lesson and all about learning from your mistakes.

Love isn’t always what you feel towards other people, it can also be what you feel to an object e.g. bed (I know sad but true), phone, food sleep, money, clothes etc. You might love your hobbies or your new shoes and you treat your items as if they’re your baby and you feel as if you can’t live without them like your family. These objects are also very important to you and you would feel incomplete without them. Some people might may think its weird but there is probably some object they have that couldn’t live without so everyone has that special thing.

Someday you will find love whether it is a man or woman, they won’t be what you see in romance or Disney films so don’t expect anything amazing because love isn’t about perfection. “Imperfection is beauty”- Marilyn Monroe. Don’t judge the person on their looks because their personality is more important, you never know that person might be “the one”. Remember good looks fade but a good heart keeps you beautiful forever.

I hope you found this blog interesting and that it taught you something important. Thanks for reading xoxo

High Expectations

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Don’t you hate when people always have high expectations of you? In school, if you put an effort in your homework, they expect top notch classwork or your parents expect good grades but maybe that term wasn’t the greatest one for you. You always feel like you have a big weight on your shoulders and that you have to work hard to pass someone’s expectations, this also causes stress and stress makes everything even worse. Sometimes you just have to let it go, stop and realise maybe you should bring the expectation to something more realistic so you can work towards it and feel more confident about reaching it.

I’m pretty sure at everyone’s secondary school, middle school and high school you learn about drugs, alcohol, smoking, underage pregnancies and more, all the teachers think that teaching us this all the time will help us realise how bad it is. We already know the effects, how to prevent it etc but do they really think that always mentioning it will help and reduce everyone from doing one of these things. Teaching us more and more about it, will make us want to do it more because it encourages us to and it makes it seem more cool and everyone thinks looks good as well, it doesn’t set a very nice first impression of you. I also think that the society nowadays is also encouraging teens to smoke, commit crimes because celebrities are going to rehab, going to prison. More and more teenagers are getting involved in crimes, smoking drugs etc.

Parents are also expecting big things from us, good grades in school and all As. It’s really annoying when you come home with your school report and the results aren’t as good as you hoped and you can just tell by the look of your parent’s face but other times when it’s good, you feel you have really achieved and exceeded in the world and you feel as you can do anything. Some parents give an award for getting good grades, which I think is great because that means more teenagers will be trying harder, some of my friends get iPods or a new phone for getting good grades. Especially at this age we need to be studying more and harder.

It’s a shame when people have high expectations for you because you don’t want to be judged by them and they then have low expectations of you and that makes people judge you and it just stress you out. Lots of people have high expectations in relationships because of romance films but they aren’t living in reality, life isn’t perfect like in the films so don’t judge and build you’re life like a film because it won’t work like that. Your life isn’t a movie so don’t base it around one, your life will fall into place and you won’t even have to worry about anything.

If you have no expectations then there’ll be no disappointments, don’t expect too much out of people because you’ll be disappointed with the outcome. Expectations are stretched too far which isn’t good, so just step by step and it’ll be okay. Make sure that the people or person who is expecting something from you knows that you want to take small paces, explain to them and they’ll understand if they really care. If you push yourself too hard, something bad could happen, so just take work easy. “Expectation is the root of all heartache”- William Shakespeare

I hope you enjoyed reading this blog and that you could relate to some of this. Thanks for reading xoxo

Society

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“Society killed the teenager.” Sadly, society nowadays has killed a lot of teenagers, because of weight issues, bullying, looks etc. Some people judge each other for being the same but when someone changes they still judge them! WHY?! Why do people do this, do they benefit anything out of this, gain any friends? What’s the point? The people in our generation don’t help either, they shaped this society to the way it is, which is really annoying.

People are so judgemental, they pick on the little things and make them a whole lot worse. This sometimes results into bullying, check out my blog on bullying: https://natalayacooke.wordpress.com/2014/02/15/bullying/. There is always that group of people who will never stop judging people and they’ll always get a kick out of this, it’ll seem so hard to stop them, but what goes around comes around. You don’t have to worry, the people or person judging you is probably jealous of you and they might be insecure about themselves, so you don’t have to worry about the people.

The media is also another reason of the society today, television, magazines, advertisements etc. All these pretty faces, slim bodies, “no make up”, flawless skin and hair, there’s too much to list! Mostly girls are ruled by these things and think they don’t amount to anything, but you do! You’re beautiful, just the way you are and you don’t need change ANYTHING about yourself, if anyone wants you to change anything about yourself, say… No, I may not be perfect but this is the best you’ll ever get, so you either take it or leave it! It might seem a little diva like but who cares they should know that and they might realise something. Some girls think they need to change their appearance or personality for a boy, so that he will go out with her. There is no need for this, if he can’t appreciate you for who you are then he is not worth it.

Older generations would probably associate our generation with drugs, crimes, underage pregnancies and more. Which I think is wrong because some of us are actually normal, we might be obsessed with Tumblr, Instagram, Youtube, food, sleep but wouldn’t you rather that than a grandchild when you’re in your 40s? Teenagers have really changed in the last 20 years, we get judged for this and some people think that all teens wear hoodies, trousers half down our bum, smoking but not all of us are like this so why is everyone else judged like this? Not all of us are bad like this and adults have got to understand this.

Lots of different things have influenced the society which has changed a lot of teens around the world, how they see things, their looks, friendships everything about them. Something so little can result to something so big and can have a HUGE impact on other people. Think about what you say because you don’t know how it might affect someone else.

I hope you found this blog interesting, thanks for reading xoxo

Friends

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Friends are one of the greatest things in the world and they come with ups and downs. All friendships are emotional roller coasters and I think you can agree with me on that. “Friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. Fake friends are like leaves found everywhere.” This is so true, you should always value every true friend you have and never underestimate them.

Sadly, there are also fake friends out there. This may be because you wear your heart on your sleeve (you’re not careful with your heart and you’re easily taken advantaged of). Some people may take advantage of people who are like this and they get badly hurt and people like that need to realise to be more careful because not everyone is trustworthy, so whatever you do be careful. You may tell your “best friend” a secret and then suddenly everyone knows about it at school, it’s probably your “friend” so watch out for those type of people. They can easily take advantage of you and they can wrap you around their little finger and you won’t even realise it. If you have a friend like this you need to be able to stand up to them and have the guts to speak and say what you think about them. This may result in an argument or you losing a “friend” but its only for the best and as long as you feel it was the right thing to do, then go for what you think is best. You can’t be mislead and not enjoy having friends because this person can’t keep you captive and if you don’t do anything about it, you’ll regret it and think to yourself, “Why didn’t I stand you for myself and tell them how I really felt about our friendship”. Don’t live your life in regret, live the moment and just go for it!

There are also a great group of friends and these people create so many unforgettable moment and happy memories with you. You might have met your friend at a young age or recently but you can tell who will be your friend for a long time or your whole life, a friendship that has lasted 7 years is more likely to last a lifetime, an interesting fact. I think this is true because you almost feel that you and your friend are related, you know everything about each other and I’m very glad to say one of my friendships has lasted for 7 years and I hope it’ll last forever with all my friends. International Friendship Day is celebrated on July 30, so spend that day with your friends and do something special as its celebrated in the summer, go down to the beach, have a water fight or just something fun.

You can also have friends of both genders which is great and it can give you a lot of knowledge about each gender. Sometimes you can develop feelings for your guy or girl friend and you just can’t help it, the other person might feel the same way about you or not, but if they don’t, don’t ruin your friendship and try to control your feelings and just value very moment you have with them. If you’re lucky enough they might try to hint that they like you and if you’re certain of it ask them out to the cinema or something and they might understand where you’re coming from and you never know what you might get out of it. As I said before don’t live in regret and just do what you feel is right for you at the situation.

Do you ever talk about your future with your friends? Like going to on holiday, going to university together, moving in, going clubbing, going to each others weddings, meeting each others children etc. Things like that just make you want to grow up faster, imagine how fun it would be! Thinking about your future with your friends is so interesting because you never know what will happen to you. Just make sure that your all still friends.

I hope you like this blog, please let me know in the comments what else you’d like me to write about. Thanks for reading xoxo